Wow, am I angry. So were, I guess, the fools streaming into the US Capitol yesterday. Their anger was constantly fed by a narrative of conspiracy theories and false claims. Anger needs narrative in order to be sustained. Their story of what happened during the 2020 presidential election was not just an imagined retelling; it was a testosterone and cortisol supplement. By reflecting on their narrative and whipping themselves up in social media circles, they grew temporarily strong as if by poison. The lies helped them mobilize.
This morning in my meditation, I could barely stay present for a single breath as I replayed yesterday’s affronts. People urinating in the Capitol. The Confederate flag streaming through the halls. I was like Pac-Man barreling through the maze, hunting for dots, as I ran through lists of culpable lawmakers. Anger is always looking for a target. That’s why it’s typically so hard, as one Buddhist instruction offers, to drop the mental narrative for a moment – “let go of the storyline” – and simply feel what’s arising. If you don’t like feeling helpless, this is not an easy practice.
But, of course, embodying is not the same thing as forgetting. The practice isn’t meant to cultivate submission, but to help us see more clearly. To take “right action.” Look at Stacey Abrams. Look at what she did with her anger.
So, how are you handling the anger? I’m sharing how I’m dealing and responding on the Discussion page. Click below to read and contribute. I’d like to hear what’s going on for you.
I also have not yet talked about this with my third-grade daughter. I'm still really processing it and seems scary to talk about people invading a government building. Correction: it is scary.
I was struck by the sentence "let go of the story line " and simply feel what's arising. So I tried to imagine what might be arising if the mob in the Capitol had let go of their story line. I guess it might have been the pain of not being heard. The pain of being treated as the under dog. The pain at the lack of opportunities. The pain for not getting their needs met. Pain. I do not know what the next step would be, but I guess nobody likes to face pain, so going out to thrash something seems easier. And they seek strength in numbers.
Maybe your helplessness is also a kind of pain. How does one face that kind of pain? I have no idea how I would handle this. And I am shocked that I have no idea. Maybe I would seek help. I would feel similarly helpless, Dan.
Thanks, Dan and everybody for this important exchange. I allowed myself to sob over about two hours last night, spoke to my son in Ireland, moved a lot in and out of NIA class, took a rare walk with my brother to a waterfall in Prospect Park, and shared feelings of extreme vulnerability with my sister (down in the DC area). I also made a mental list of the people I would invite to dinner at our home -- Stacey Abrams, Sanjay Gupta, Rev. Warnock, The Bidens and VP Kamala with Doug, Pope Francis, and Van Jones, among them. (That was an encouraging, if unlikely, narrative.)
Thank you Dan for your usual pertinent/honest comments. I tried to read and view the events in small bits but I was actually feeling sick about it. So, I also listened to music I have for meditation, petted Junebug (cat)and sent texts to several friends. It all helped keep it in perspective. Did some breathing and smiling, too. Your teaching is always something that has enhanced my ability to trust you! It was not a good day but ....
Hey Dan, it's Hannah from IDP recent grad. I appreciate this blog. Anger is one of the emotions, among a few (terror, losing control) but anger is a prominent one. I taught my regular meditation class and I put it live on FB as well, it's my way of doing something to contribute rather than holding it all in. I'm also laughing with my son, being present while playing with him and his toys and getting super into it rather than sometimes being half checked out. Being clearer in the moment, touching more joy in those moments are what is keeping me in balance. Thank you for your writings and I forgot to tell you how much I enjoyed your class at IDP - I love the Alexander Technique (which I learned in drama grad school back in 2000), so complimentary to meditation. Be well and enjoy your guitar - no matter what kind of music you make :)
Thanks, Hannah. You're totally right how important it is to fully connect with play with your kids. It's so easy to be half checked out, especially when our minds are so preoccupied. But it's inspiring to see that that's how kids process, through play and absorption. And it's hard but good for us to get positively absorbed in things as well.
Last night, I happen to have a biweekly phone call with a group in the Hudson Valley that's organizing for better healthcare in New York State. That was a good place to bring my anger. Organizing is an endurance activity.
I'm also going to play a little guitar later tonight, just to take a break from stewing and staring at a screen. It's strange how bad music is somehow essential for my well-being.
I don't think it is strange at all Dan. Music is something that can calm us and help us forget for a little while. And especially if you have to concentrate on what you are doing.
Thanks for this letter. Yes, anger at the stupidity and viciousness of it all. And how helpless so many felt. I just can't believe that this could happen here. We are not a Third World country.
My initial feelings were anger and they quickly became directed at the politicians who revved up the folks protesting in the Capitol as well as the ill-intentioned people who resorted to violence. I had to remind myself that I did not really wish them ill. (Although I had some fantasies of time out chairs and dunce caps!) Then as I watched the news footage my anger somehow morphed into a strong and sustained sadness. I felt sad for those who were demonstrating for their beliefs - for I do believe there were those in that crowd who feel that economic and cultural changes threaten their way of living, those who have had changes in their livelihoods. I wished I could talk to some of them and hear their fears and communicate my sympathy and reassure them that I am not their enemy, to listen and to search for common ground. I hope the calls to heal are heard.
My first reaction was one of shame. The shame of seeing our democracy at risk. Then I was appalled at the encouragement given by Trump to the rioters. My feelings eased somewhat when President Elect Biden was ratified and when Ossoff and Warnock were elected to the Senate. My wish is that all Senators and Representatives take a deep cleansing breath and and then remember to work together for "We the Nation."
Thanks for this discussion, Dan. Anger is toxic, seductive, and draining. Despite years of sitting, I can go quickly into a purple fury against, especially, the so-called leaders who pedaled lies and incited and enabled this. Better to look at anger and then channel it into constructive action and compassion. The mob's behavior, yes, was reprehensible, but they are also people being used by the president (and his fellow travelers) to stay in power. He cares nothing for them and has done nothing to improve their lives.
**drop the mental narrative for a moment – “let go of the storyline”** I think this blossoms like a flower over time with meditation. There will always be a storyline.
I also have not yet talked about this with my third-grade daughter. I'm still really processing it and seems scary to talk about people invading a government building. Correction: it is scary.
I was struck by the sentence "let go of the story line " and simply feel what's arising. So I tried to imagine what might be arising if the mob in the Capitol had let go of their story line. I guess it might have been the pain of not being heard. The pain of being treated as the under dog. The pain at the lack of opportunities. The pain for not getting their needs met. Pain. I do not know what the next step would be, but I guess nobody likes to face pain, so going out to thrash something seems easier. And they seek strength in numbers.
Maybe your helplessness is also a kind of pain. How does one face that kind of pain? I have no idea how I would handle this. And I am shocked that I have no idea. Maybe I would seek help. I would feel similarly helpless, Dan.
Thanks, Dan and everybody for this important exchange. I allowed myself to sob over about two hours last night, spoke to my son in Ireland, moved a lot in and out of NIA class, took a rare walk with my brother to a waterfall in Prospect Park, and shared feelings of extreme vulnerability with my sister (down in the DC area). I also made a mental list of the people I would invite to dinner at our home -- Stacey Abrams, Sanjay Gupta, Rev. Warnock, The Bidens and VP Kamala with Doug, Pope Francis, and Van Jones, among them. (That was an encouraging, if unlikely, narrative.)
Simkha, sounds like so much good process (and in different ways – movement, conversation, imagination, etc.)
Thank you Dan for your usual pertinent/honest comments. I tried to read and view the events in small bits but I was actually feeling sick about it. So, I also listened to music I have for meditation, petted Junebug (cat)and sent texts to several friends. It all helped keep it in perspective. Did some breathing and smiling, too. Your teaching is always something that has enhanced my ability to trust you! It was not a good day but ....
Hey Dan, it's Hannah from IDP recent grad. I appreciate this blog. Anger is one of the emotions, among a few (terror, losing control) but anger is a prominent one. I taught my regular meditation class and I put it live on FB as well, it's my way of doing something to contribute rather than holding it all in. I'm also laughing with my son, being present while playing with him and his toys and getting super into it rather than sometimes being half checked out. Being clearer in the moment, touching more joy in those moments are what is keeping me in balance. Thank you for your writings and I forgot to tell you how much I enjoyed your class at IDP - I love the Alexander Technique (which I learned in drama grad school back in 2000), so complimentary to meditation. Be well and enjoy your guitar - no matter what kind of music you make :)
Thanks, Hannah. You're totally right how important it is to fully connect with play with your kids. It's so easy to be half checked out, especially when our minds are so preoccupied. But it's inspiring to see that that's how kids process, through play and absorption. And it's hard but good for us to get positively absorbed in things as well.
Really glad you are teaching and sharing!
Last night, I happen to have a biweekly phone call with a group in the Hudson Valley that's organizing for better healthcare in New York State. That was a good place to bring my anger. Organizing is an endurance activity.
I'm also going to play a little guitar later tonight, just to take a break from stewing and staring at a screen. It's strange how bad music is somehow essential for my well-being.
What happened to sourdough bread making?
I prefer to make bad music than make bad bread I guess.
I don't think it is strange at all Dan. Music is something that can calm us and help us forget for a little while. And especially if you have to concentrate on what you are doing.
Thanks for this letter. Yes, anger at the stupidity and viciousness of it all. And how helpless so many felt. I just can't believe that this could happen here. We are not a Third World country.
Hi Dan,
My initial feelings were anger and they quickly became directed at the politicians who revved up the folks protesting in the Capitol as well as the ill-intentioned people who resorted to violence. I had to remind myself that I did not really wish them ill. (Although I had some fantasies of time out chairs and dunce caps!) Then as I watched the news footage my anger somehow morphed into a strong and sustained sadness. I felt sad for those who were demonstrating for their beliefs - for I do believe there were those in that crowd who feel that economic and cultural changes threaten their way of living, those who have had changes in their livelihoods. I wished I could talk to some of them and hear their fears and communicate my sympathy and reassure them that I am not their enemy, to listen and to search for common ground. I hope the calls to heal are heard.
My first reaction was one of shame. The shame of seeing our democracy at risk. Then I was appalled at the encouragement given by Trump to the rioters. My feelings eased somewhat when President Elect Biden was ratified and when Ossoff and Warnock were elected to the Senate. My wish is that all Senators and Representatives take a deep cleansing breath and and then remember to work together for "We the Nation."
Rosanne
Thanks for this discussion, Dan. Anger is toxic, seductive, and draining. Despite years of sitting, I can go quickly into a purple fury against, especially, the so-called leaders who pedaled lies and incited and enabled this. Better to look at anger and then channel it into constructive action and compassion. The mob's behavior, yes, was reprehensible, but they are also people being used by the president (and his fellow travelers) to stay in power. He cares nothing for them and has done nothing to improve their lives.
**drop the mental narrative for a moment – “let go of the storyline”** I think this blossoms like a flower over time with meditation. There will always be a storyline.